Sunday, March 19, 2017

Secrets to a Marriage Beyond Your Wildest Dreams!

Dear Scarlett Johansson,
Scarlett Johansson

I heard this a few weeks ago, that you said monogamy was unnatural, and so hard, and that you've separated from your husband. I haven't been keeping up since then, so don't know the latest, but I wanted to share some marriage secrets from someone who's been married for 15 years, and it is even better than when we first married!

There are two main secrets to having a great, long-term, monogamous marriage beyond your wildest dreams. The first and most important is what my dad told me before I got married. He said a man's number one need is for respect. I found this to be so true.

Luckily, I'm blessed to be married to the coolest man in the world, who is an amazing musician, one of the greatest musicians ever.  Casey's music is so beautiful and he composes it to poetry. He literally hears music in his head when he's writing the poems that become songs. There's a reason every woman wants a poet....

The second is regarding intimacy. It is best for the health of your marriage, happiness, even physical health, to be as close to your man as possible, so that means intimacy every day if possible. I know that sounds like a lot for busy working moms, but it's really important. And it's a spiritual thing ("the two shall become one flesh" and all that).

If you think it's unimportant then try this challenge try for a month, and then tell me how easy it is. You will suddenly find that everything's coming between you two, to try to interfere with this.

The devil is real and he will hit you hard with everything possible to try to separate you from your husband. Sickness. Being busy. Being on social media way too much. Suddenly all these things will come up, you'll be super busy, people invite you to be on a bunch of boards, you'll have a ton of meetings that hadn't been scheduled in a long time.

I want to let wives know having that part of their lives die is not natural, nor is it healthy. And you can fight it and you can win. The whole thing out there is that it just kind of naturally goes away once you've been married for a long time. That's a lie from the pit of Hell.

When Jesus said, "I make all things new" He meant it. And He meant it for this world, too, not just for when we get to Heaven.

Your friend,
Steph Johansen (no relation)

P.S. Feel free to email me at!